Baby Steps

2 Chronicles 20:12 - We don't know what to do, but our eyes are on you. 

When I originally began this blog, I felt very compelled to portray things in a real way.  I feel that social media has us portraying only the great stuff, and while I am a huge fan of positivity, it's just not the reality of all of our lives.  I wouldn't be portraying a truthful picture if I acted like this whole deal is/was perfect.  I WILL say that adopting has been one of the most beautiful things that we have ever experienced.  However, I knew that it would not always be roses, and today, it wasn't.  This morning was a hard morning.  Yesterday was hard too.  We are at the peak of exhaustion.  We have had a more difficult time adjusting to the time difference this time, and almost every morning there have been Muslim chants.  No exaggeration, but this morning they started at 2:30am and went on nearly all day as it is a Muslim holiday today...awesome...not really.  We miss our other two kiddos so much!  In the midst of a rough moment today, I said through my tears to the Lord, "this is so hard."  Immediately, the above verse came to my head.  We don't know what to do, but our eyes are on you.  It's ok not to know what to do...God does.  We are being so drawn to Jesus through this as we are constantly asking Him what we should do.  A bit convicting too, as I should be doing this more frequently with Kenzi and Kasen...constantly asking God to guide us in the moments of the day.  Bottom line, God has chosen us to be Cai's parents, so he is and will continue to equip us.  It's all about HIM in us. 

Micai is absolutely precious, but he continues to mourn all that has been lost, and I am mourning with him...it breaks my heart.  This morning pretty much consisted of Cole and I switching off holding him while he fussed and cried.  We can't take his hurt away, and it's so hard.  However, God continues to remind me that going through this process is so much bigger than what we can see.  Cai is learning to seek us as comfort.  He has someone responding to him on a consistent basis when he is in need.  There is permanency and consistency in his life in regards to a caregiver.  All of these things he is learning, and I am so privileged that God picked us to go through this heartbreaking process with him.  God is shaping and shepherding our hearts to be the parents that he needs.  Again, he is and will equip us.  We are never alone.    

On a positive note, he is healing well, and after a good nap today, he was doing much better.  So thankful to the Lord for the encouragment.  We are getting more smiles!  Before he just kind of looked at us like, "who are you people, again?" :)  He is starting to respond to the fun baby games that we all play with babies...so fun!  We were also so blessed to find the cereal that they were putting in his bottle at the orphanage at a supermarket down the street while on a walk this evening.  He fell asleep on me too...loved!  God is so faithful, and gave us the encouragement and baby steps of bonding that we were so longing to see tonight.  He also drank his bottle before bed tonight with the same brand of cereal they used at the orphanage in it, and I have never seen the boy happier after drinking his bottle, and he also finished it!  Think it was a little taste of familiar for him that he was needing :)

We are also noticing that he gets so tired so quickly.  Before I was thinking it was because he was sick, but I think it is really due to the fact that he is used to being in his crib for the majority of his day.  While at the orphanage, we noticed that unless they were being fed or changed, the babies were usually either in their cribs or outside of them laying on a cushion.  Honestly, I think we are kind of exhausting to him.  We play with him, talk to him, make him do tummy time, and he's tired :)  I told Cole today, it's just too bad for him that he got two parents that are athletes :)  Baby steps...he will get there, and so will we :)

We are super excited to be going to a school that Lifesong for Orphans has in Ziway, Ethiopia tomorrow!  Lifesong is an AMAZING ministry that helped us raise the money needed for the adoption.  We are so excited to see all that God is doing there!  

Last but not least, I will end with some pics of our day...I know he has some grandmas and friends at home that live for these :) ...

Kicked off the morning in a little walker that the guest house had and Cole had him smiling for just a bit :) 



Getting ready to venture out to a store after his nap

A pic of the three of us before we went out

He is loving playing (untying the laces) with these sweet Jordan's that I got him at the KCC (consignment sale) this past Spring 

He fell asleep on me during our walk tonight.  I'm just a little wrapped around his finger...just a little :)

Random, but check out the logo on this cup...look familiar???  Let me introduce you to the Starbuck's of Ethiopia...Kaldi!  How funny is that?  Yes, please!  Love us some Kaldi!

   

  

I cannot thank you all enough for the encouragment and for taking the journey with us!